The Ick Meaning

The complete breakdown of dating's most visceral term. What it means, where it's from, and how to use it.

the ick

/ðə ÉŠk/ — noun, informal

A sudden, intense feeling of disgust or loss of attraction toward someone you were previously interested in. Usually triggered by a specific behavior, mannerism, or observation that changes how you see the person.

Example

"We were vibing until I watched him eat spaghetti. Total ick. I literally cannot look at him anymore."

Example

"She got the ick when he sent a paragraph-long text explaining why he doesn't tip."

Origin and History

The word "ick" has been around forever. Kids use it when they see something gross. It's basically a sound effect for disgust.

But "the ick" as a dating concept? That's more recent.

The first notable use was in a 1999 episode of Ally McBeal. The main character describes feeling "the ick" toward a date – an inexplicable turn-off she can't quite articulate. The scene resonated, but the term didn't spread widely.

Then came Love Island UK in 2017. Contestant Olivia Attwood used "the ick" to describe losing attraction to Sam Gowland. Her explanation – that once you get it, it spreads through your body and you can't shake it – became instantly quotable. People who'd never watched the show started using the phrase.

By 2020, TikTok made it mainstream. Videos about icks racked up millions of views. People shared lists, stories, debates. The term entered everyday vocabulary for anyone under 40 talking about relationships.

Related Terms

The ick sits in a growing vocabulary of dating slang:

Red flag Turn-off Cringe Beige flag Dealbreaker Situationship Ghosting Breadcrumbing

The Ick vs. Turn-off

People sometimes use these interchangeably. They're not quite the same.

A turn-off is something you don't like. Bad breath. Talking about their ex too much. Being rude. These are logical reasons to lose interest.

The ick is weirder. It's often about something that shouldn't matter. The way they hold a pen. How they wave goodbye. Running in a slightly weird way. Things that would be totally fine in a friend or coworker but somehow destroy romantic attraction.

The ick also tends to be more final. Turn-offs can sometimes be worked through. The ick? Once it hits, most people say it doesn't go away.

Common Variations

You'll see people phrase it different ways:

Why It Matters

The ick gave people language for something they'd always felt but couldn't quite express. That weird moment where attraction just shuts off for no logical reason. Knowing there's a word for it – and that everyone experiences it – makes it easier to process and discuss.

It's also become a lens for examining attraction itself. Why are we drawn to some people and repulsed by others? How much of attraction is logical vs. instinctual? The ick sits right at that intersection.

"The ick might be your subconscious picking up on incompatibilities before your conscious mind catches on."

Or it might be random brain noise. Psychologists aren't sure. Either way, ignoring it rarely works.

Examples of Common Icks

These come up over and over in discussions:

Again – these are highly personal. Someone's ick is another person's "who cares." That's part of what makes the topic endlessly discussable.

Curious About More?

The Ick App shows you who your crush recently followed on Instagram. Real-time notifications. No login required. Sometimes the truth gives you the ick.

Check It Out

In Pop Culture

Beyond Love Island, the ick shows up everywhere now:

It's not going anywhere. The ick is now permanent vocabulary.

Final Thoughts

The ick is one of those terms that just works. It sounds like what it means. It describes something universal that people struggled to articulate before. And it's become a shared reference point for talking about the weird, illogical side of dating.

Next time attraction suddenly dies over something tiny, you'll know what to call it. And you'll know you're not the only one.